life or something like it

Facebook confessions

2011-08-13T13:42:00.001-07:00

Today I have been thinking more than other days why I do what I do.
 
An example:

I edited my facebook page. I took off all of my favorite musical artists, books, and quotes. This isn’t an abnormal activity for me. Months ago I took off all of my notes which were personal off of facebook. In fact, every single time I go on facebook I am tempted to delete the majority of the “friends” on my friends list because very few of them are actually my friends and many I barely know.

Why do I do these things?

One of the reasons: I don’t want people to have such quick and easy access to my personality and thoughts. I don’t think it is quite right that someone could learn who my favourite band is, or what school I am attending without even saying more than 10 words to me. I would rather someone learn about me in a conversation, over a cup of coffee, while looking into my eyes, as I sit across the table from them, than them look at some goofy pictures of me, look at my favourite bands and books and hear my humorous thoughts every so often.

I want real communication and relationships. I not only have little to no desire to have facebook friends who aren’t my friend, but I don’t want to have fake conversations at Superstore, at university or at church. To be honest, the level of fake awkward conversations at church encourages me to not attend.

 I guess what I am trying to simply say is, I don’t want to put forth an image of myself on facebook or in person of a polished 24 year old who wears the right clothes, and has the right friends. I want real life, and real people. They aren’t on facebook.

PS. I may delete you again.

The Slave Lake Fire

2011-05-16T08:03:00.001-07:00

One of my greatest fears as a child was of losing my home in a fire. I thought of losing all my toys, all of my families cherished possessions, our home and I couldn't imagine how devastating it would be. Last night and today, with the wild-fire that have ravaged Slave Lake, Alberta such fear has become reality for an entire town, as the town is expected to be lost. The town hall, radio station and police station are already announced gone.
Two provinces over disastrous flooding is being curtailed by a protective dike breach, which will sacrifice certain farms to save the surrounding area.
Often I see these disasters and embarrassingly don't think much of them, I suppose because disasters are quite common. However, as natural disasters have effected my friends, first in Japan with the tsunami, where I have several Japanese friends who I met at Bible college and now in Slave Lake where my buddy Simon's in-laws, the Engler's and their family live, I am reminded of how real and devastating life can be. Each day is not in our control. Our homes, our livelihood or our loved ones can be taken away from us. What can we do?
I choose to trust God with my life, my friends and family and pursue a compassionate life.
My thoughts, compassion and prayers are with the people of Slave Lake this morning. Esp. Amy Engler and her family and the flood drenched families in Manitoba. May the peace of the Holy spirit be with you in these difficult times.

Walks

2011-05-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

-I felt like Forest Gump today when I decided to go for a walk up 3rd avenue. As I walked I was listening to Explosions in the sky..what a band!! They rock my socks off. I noticed the wicked character homes-what great architecture, it brought me joy as I thought to myself, "this must be the most beautiful avenue in Swift Current." The houses are all unique and most are traditional, the grass thick and green..I could mow that all day! I love green grass; I am into it. When I got to Chaplin ave., where the towering First United church stood I decided to turn right and go back down 2nd...and yep, the houses were nearly as pretty as 3rd, then when I reached the end of 2nd I decided I have gone this far might as well go up 4th.
-It was a good walk I enjoyed it thoroughly and felt blessed to be alive, seeing interesting people, breathing in fresh air, soaking up the sun, looking at character homes, green grass and good music.
-A revelation I had when I saw a young father wearing a fedora playing with his kid is that I should start wearing fedoras..they are the bomb.
-Another great song worth listening to is Georgia by Band of horses.

Life May/11

2011-05-08T15:59:00.001-07:00

I have been in Swift Current for near two weeks. I took a job spraying herbicide on oil sites around Swift current. I like how small a town it is, two minute drive to get pretty much anywhere, plus I have a few friends here and my cousins, so it is nice.
Since I have been here two weeks ago I have taken a two day first-Aid course and a one day H2S course. The instructor was a funny man, he often went on tangents about everything from his love of bacon to how his wife picks out his cloths, to simply his love of life. He definitely missed his career calling as a stand up comedian. He made the courses I took from him a lot easier than they would have been without him.
I then left on Sunday morning to Drayton Valley, Alberta for a weeks worth of training. I was reminded as I drove past Rocky Mountain house how pretty the landscape is in that area.

The week itself was quite boring..mainly we (60-70 trainees) sat in a hall and heard safety presentations and went through a binder full of information on weeds, pesticides, dot, dot, dot. Wasn't the most exciting week of my life, but at least I got to meet some new people. I always find meeting people to be worth the price of admission.
In my spare time (in the evenings) I spent a ton of time reading, watching, thinking and discussing the political election. I am not disappointed with the results..and am interested in what the conservatives will do and hope they go beyond partisan lines to make decisions which are best for Canada. (I am trying to not be so negative)

It rained too much the past few days, so it looks like I won't be able to work the first few days this week. So I'll be trying to enjoy my spare time, by reading, watching this interesting show called "Mad men" and writing a little poetry..I think ill go for a few walks too..Fresh air is a must.

The land

2011-05-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

The drought has been here so long
that the soil no longer repents and has
ceased worshiping all together. Without
the ease of rain the people are cold
and scared. They take refuge by night
labour by day. The people believe
that pours are meant to sweat
no matter the fruit. Sweat will
break the curse. It has to.

In another land, a blessed land, the river
is above the banks: men, oak and maple
have grown tall. Fields are ripe and
the soil is Godly. Prosperity is viewed as
possession. It’s often ignored, like the sun
and the stars. The people don’t look to
their left or to their right, only to the
North and the South.

Mountains and miles separate
dust from beach. Damned
grey distance of apathy and
ignorance. Look to your left
and to your right! And please
take refuge from the drought.

Quote

2011-04-29T18:54:00.001-07:00

It is better to cry then it is to laugh. Crying sears the soul and scours the heart.

Forget he will

2011-03-12T12:48:00.001-08:00

at Easter we walked along
the abandoned railroad tracks
in the echoed mountains
30 feet above the valley
i was a shy boy then
frightened of falling through the
cracks to my splattering death
my mom’s hand which i
gripped tightly calmed
the vision of the free fall

with an invitation to a higher
perch i sat on the
the shoulders of a grizzled vet
i felt safer on dad’s shoulder somehow
it was a thrill being so high and it didn’t
seem as dangerous

nature was very fresh
the shadows were darker
the water fresher
the cold crisper
the sun and the clouds
the same if only i could have
taken more notice of the
smell of rain the cool of
that evening the depth of
colour and the faces around me
those faces

I'll take a hand grenade, a Reuben and a Coffee

2011-02-07T18:56:00.000-08:00

At times I just have to look away. Seeing you
happy, having what I don’t have
is a head aching pain, like staring at
the sun. I am aware of how sick a condition
jealousy is. I ask the lord to take it away,
he removes the stinging sensation
usually within days. Often I feel cheated
with how unfair and random
life seems to be, life's blessings are not
spread out fairly. Some run around lost
for years, confused, alone and
void of direction, while others get
everything they ever wanted, many in love
many also alone.

How much of this windy, at times
comatose-like life is our choice? How much
is fate, created and directed
by the divine? I am capable of self improvement,
of compassion. I am always
letting it go. I don’t deserve my
fair share, I may not get what I want. It is too
excruciating to wait for it anyway.

It takes a potent, perspective shaping
walk to get a grip at times.
This solitary activity, full of
harmony, showers me with
understanding of a somewhat
bigger picture. Without this time
of reflection I just push
my discontent deeper down,
avoiding the feelings
I can’t seem to resolve

Questions..

2011-02-07T18:54:00.001-08:00

What do you think about George Stoumboulopoulus?
Who is your favorite super hero?
What are your thoughts on global warming?
What is your greatest possession?
What scares you?
What is your concept of heaven?
Do you love your mom?
What do you think about Jesus Christ?
Do you think there is life on other planets?
Do you like playing monopoly?
What makes you a success?
Do you consider yourself a compassionate person?
If it were socially expectable would you drape yourself in velvet?
Do you believe in true love?
Do you want to have kids?
How often do you cry?
What is your dream job?
Where is home?
Why do you live?
What do you take for granted?
How do they get the caramilk into the caramilk bar?
How is passion birthed?
Why do you live where you do?
Where have you gone wrong?
What is your secret?
What memory stands out most from when you were 13?
What are you insecure about?
Are you allergic to anything?
How do you feel when you see a sunset?
Who do you love?
Do you like ducks?
Batman or Superman?
Is technology a good or bad thing?
If you could have an exotic pet, what would it be?
Who makes you mad?
Are you happy?
What moment in time do you want to relive?
How is your relationship with your father?
What are you proud of?
How often do you reflect?

Stretch or not to stretch

2010-10-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

I found this friendly post addressed to young punks on a forum who stretch their ears too fast and in a silly way. It made me laugh. First here is the post by this goof, followed by the humorous response.

Kevin writes:
i went from a normal size earing to a 2g and it hurt like hell espcially how i streched it i didn't do it the way your suppose to i used a straw by cutting the end at a slant that way when i put the straw in it starts small then works it ways bigger. and here is some advise to anyone who wants to strech there ears don't use a straw

Response by "down"
are you stupid? trying to stretch from 14 to 2? seriously people. you need to leaern the proper way to stretch your lobes. this is just....disgracefull.
ok #1. NEVER< NEVER NEVER skip gauges. unless you want a blowout and screwup your lobes.
#2 use tapers until you reach around 0 or 00
then if u cant find tapers, get a roll of electrical tape, and slowly add layers of tape around your plugs. eventually you will be able to put in the next gauge.
#3 wait at least a few months between stretches, this makes it muct easier, and safer to stretch.
#4. dont be stupid, think of what you are doing. if you think u will one day want "normal" earlobes again, realize that after a certian point ...around 00, you will have a hard time getting them to shrink back down to their original size.
geese, all you MALLRATS ewant to streth the lobes...at least learn how to do it

The lost art of the book sale

2010-10-07T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today was one of my favourite moments of the university year. The University Library, bi-anual booksale. Thankfuly I walked out with three intriguing titled books. These are the three titles

-The Lost Art Of Walking: The History,Science, Philosophy, and Literature of Pedestrianism by Geoff Nicholson.

Reasons for and Advantages of Breathing: stories by Lydia Peele

-The Great Awakening: Seven Ways to change the world: Reviving Faith & Politics by Jim Wallis

On top of these three books, I also am beginning to work my way through, The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, which was a gift from my pal Riesser. I hope these ones are gooders, the last sale I also found intrigueing titles but once reading the first chapters, I found that 3/4 of them were full of "huey," as the saying goes.

I wish I could just read these books I purchased, instead I will be doing homework. Ill let anyone and everyone know if these are classics or if they are duds whence I know

with out further ado

2010-09-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

"The very nature of a servant.."

These words were running through my head today..so without further ado.

Philippians 2:1-10 (The Message)

Philippians 2

He Took on the Status of a Slave

^1-4If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

^5-8Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

^9-11Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.

Finger prints

2010-07-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

"When you stop believing you are unique, something begins to die inside of you. What is it in the human spirit that insists on it's uniqueness? It is not enough for us to simply exist. That every one of us has a unique fingerprint means more to us than simply improvements in forensics. We are nothing less than driven to find our own paths, make our own way, be our own person." Edward Raphael McManus- Excerpt from his book 'Soul Cravings'

Don't forget that your heart is still beating. Snap out of the haze! You are a walking miracle! It is not a random coincidence that you breath the next breath. No, today is your day. The Lord of Heaven and Earth crafted you intrinsically and beautifully; setting you in time. He gave you a smile unlike any other and he moulded a passion in your soul that will never be duplicated.

Take Comfort, close your eyes and drift away but only for a moment. Awake and grab on to your destiny. Run toward the fear, I dare you! The faster you run the more mesmerizing the ride becomes.

It is ok. The cliff in the distance is safe. There is a safety netting prepared to brace your fall. Just get up and accept the freedom. The day is yours and you are loved just as you are.

I have forgotten for long periods of time that I am even breathing. This happens repeatedly. In time though I wake up from my slumber and realize I am still alive. One reason why I know I am alive is because I feel, struggle and ache from the inside. I am self loathing, judgemental of others, extremely envious..In the centre of my sin is an amnesia of who I am and who you are..I forget the value of myself and disregard the strangers that surround me. I disregard their depth and their humanity. How sad, how wrong. Help me to love, like you love each of us!

You know us each by name. You know our fingerprints, our depths, our fears, pains, shame, anger, joy, strengths and you love us each more than we understand.

A Jack-ass in the night

2010-06-08T22:04:00.001-07:00

The other night Greg (my roomate) and I were driving along a back road back to our farm and something crazy happened. We were having a similar conversation as we usually do where he attempts to push my buttons in order to get a reaction. In my haste he got the reaction he desired and I began to search in the crevasses of my brain for the correct adjective to bark back at him. Picking the perfect word, one not too crude but not juvenile either, I yelped, “You’re a Jack-ass!”
Then as surely as I stand before you today..three seconds later in the hollowness of the night a large animal walks across the road. Greg alertly honks his horn to frighten the deer or...is it a moose?? It has dark fur! It is not a deer?..As we approach in ironic justice Greg and I hypothetically wipe the disbelief from our eyes and realize that what we just saw was a donkey.
We laugh and realize that the odds of that just happening are very slim seeing as I have not called someone a jack-ass in months.. and then seconds after I use it in jest a donkey trots across the road? Ultimately we both believe that was surely God teaching me a lesson. Greg has been encouraging me for months to control my tongue. He reminds me what
James 3:8-11says.

“This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
My friends, this can't go on. A spring doesn't gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don't bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don't bear apples, do they? You're not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?”

Finally I got the message my king and all it took was a jack-ass in the night.

hear my prayers

2009-02-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

Gazing out of the window of the train, hour upon hour I looked deeply at my surroundings. I thought deeply about life. Clearly the the question came to my mind. How does a human body even function for as long as it does? This thought came to mind as I meditated about losing my Uncle two nights prior to ALS. It still makes no sense to me today that our body is made to last so long. In the world we live in everything that is made is made to wear out. Even for example you look at a car that is 21 years old going on 22 (my age) their are not a lot of those left...most of them are dead, ...and if they are still on the road they are far from trust worthy.. Or you look at a computer, a computer that is 22 years old is in a nuisance ground crushed under the rubble of washing machines and worn out fridges.

Myself however despite my relative age...I am in pretty good shape. Other than the fact that if I went to a doctor I would probably find out that I need to stick to a strict diet, so to prevent my very consistent diarrhetic issues. (sorry for informing you of that) Despite that I am probably in great shape. The longevity and strength of our human bodies does not only impress me but it leads me to a similar thought which i came to again while still looking out of the train.

The train had stopped along side this construction site. There was only this one fella working there. I watched him for several minutes. He did not work very hard. He kinda just shuffled this dirt around for the fifteen or twenty minutes that I watched him. I wonder what was going through his mind? Maybe he was thinking about how lucky he was that he actually had a job. With the un-employment rate so frightening that could very well be what he was thinking. But most likely he was thinking about how he would have rather been some where else. Maybe with his family..maybe out with the boys watching a football game. One thing I know is it did not look like he was putting much thought into the dirt shuffling he was doing. As I was watching him...I thought to my self.. I am glad I am not there shuffling that dirt. Then I remembered how I have had jobs that were a lot worse than that guys job looked and I did not mind it at all.

What makes that construction job a mind numbing existence is, it is with out christ. With out hope, with out purpose and with out love. It is mind blowing to me that peoples minds don't just blow up and kill people. Honestly is depression not that scary and not that dangerous? I think it almost is. It is a life lacking hope and a life lacking direction. In the middle of this depression I believe is the fear mongering, cloudy snake..The dev-myster, Satan. The king of lies and confusion. As I road on the train...I saw this depression along the country side, and I saw it in the empty factories and I see it on the fear on tv. "The recession, 600 000 out of work this month alone?"

Christ is the only answer...hope is only found in him. I believe this. The difference in my life that christ has made I feel is very deep and transforming. I have told my story lots. But my question is...and I guess I know the answer...Does God hear my prayers? Does it make a difference? I don't know...but its all I can do. What else can I do?...break through God...may people understand that they need you christ...through there brokenness meet them.. may it be deep, not shallow.

Hear my prayers as I travel!

arrived

2009-01-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

Hey every body... well i got a minute here to use the inter web... i thought I would take advantage. Riesser and I arrived in florida last night... On separate flights. Sheldon got stuck in customs for hours. They basically randomly chose him to interrigate...brought him into the interigation room and then forgot about him. Just silliness.. It's even more laughable because it took me the grand total of 3 seconds to get through customs...So as this is happening I have no clue what is going on. I hop on the scheduled flight and hope he makes it last minute and he of course doesn't. However through asking the flight attendant I am told he will make the next flight that will get to florida at mid night.

When I arrive in florida I head down to the baggage claim area...I had just been paranoid all day that my bag would not arrive in orlando. I had wanted to just bring it on the plane as a carry on first thing in the morning but the lady at the calgary air port had extremely inadequate communication skills (she was an immigrant)... I should have just said I wanted it to be a carry on!!! Back to my story though so I wait and watch the bags go by...my bag is no where to be seen...but the even keeled man I am I do not panic...that is until the conveyer belt stops....and my back pack did not make it...sheeeit.. so after talking to the authorities that be I find out that i was supposed to pick up my back pack in toronto and bring it through customs...would have been nice had someone told me that!

But hey its not a bad story...to begin our journey. Its probably a bit funny. It gave me an excuse to talk to a lot of people. This one lady I met her on three different occasions...sat beside her when waiting to be boarding and I told her about how sheldon was not going to make the plane...I was waiting for my back pack and I looked up and she was there smiling. Then i joked, "don't tell my my back pack wont' make it!" Then finally after she was standing out side still smiling and we chatted again about how my back pack never made it. LOL, lots of laughs...

Honestly though I sure hope my back pack makes it here...I would like to not have to buy cloths and sincerley I want to read what my friends wrote in the journal for me! Plus my phone will die with in days if I don't get my back pack.

Florida is nice though...the weather is comforting...the trosts are soo hospitable...last night we ate oysters...15 cents a piece. I guess that is a good deal! It was the first time I have enjoyed them. Lord I was enjoying my self...When I got to the trost's I was hanging out with Bob (the father) he is a nice man...He asked me if I wanted some wine..I told him i was more of a beer drinker...so he pulled out a cold certified coors light! It was unbelievable! As I sat on the back porch after we picked up sheldon from the air port. I sat there thinking about all I have to be thankful for...I have lots of memories... ill keep thinking about my friends and family back home...and I will be back soon...

but I am just taking this thing one day at a time. I know things could and will get tougher but I will continue to just take it one day at a time. I trust that Christ will be there every step of the way and that I see my him in everything.

miss you all

(unedited my apologies)

next chapter

2009-01-21T20:30:00.000-08:00

Well its time to say good bye...I came to eston to hang out with friends, pore some coffee and play some rec hockey...and that is basically what I did. I lived life how I enjoy living life. Went out for coffee alot with friends (its what I do). I find it bitter sweet, I made some rad friends, and I won't see many of these friends ever again and that is sad... There are some kind people who come into harley's as well, quite honestly most of them are great. This lady I work with named Jackie is one of the kindest people I ever met...A heart of gold...I promised her I would send her a post card or two on my travels...I sure hope I remember.

So in about 5 days I am entering the land of who knows...Who knows where I will sleep every night? Who knows who I will meet? Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Thats I think what I want from this trip. I need to rely on God with my whole self. I want to pray every day for the Lord to put people in sheldon and I's path.... I want him to supply my needs! I need to get closer to God. I want to understand who he is more... I want to understand with more clarity what is important in life...and I want to be forever changed... wrecked... shattered... I want to look at life differently...I want to look at life more like Christ! I want christ to be my everything.

I ask my self "revolution what?" what am I living for? Brand my heart christ! Burn my skin so I am never the same. I feel like christ has already done this to me...however I also feel like he wants it to be deeper.

Please pray for me...I am scared...Pray that christ supplies my needs... hears my cryes...and is at the centre...every moment of this journey....see ya later

The year that was.

2008-12-15T09:12:00.000-08:00

Its a bit early but...

2008 was quite the year! Alot happened.

In January the much hyped "Thumper Cup" happened...and it was glorious! That feeling my friends and team mates had as we took to the ice in matching jersey and pant was one of the better feelings I have experienced in my life...I was part of a group of loyal friends who look forward to each year when we can play hockey together and reminisce...we love each other like brothers.., its deep(can't wait till this coming year) "Thumpers till we die...thumpers for life."

Immediately after thumper cup...The weather went from very mild to extremely cold...it was minus 50 over night and I was stuck in eston! So when i finally got back home to hepburn (ughh) instead of working my final week as a framer...I sat around my house trying to stay warm...then I proceeded to move to Calgary to begin my career as a carpet cleaner. .

Calgary in febuary was mild and the friends great...when I arrived in calgary I met mills, greg, and coop at mills house to watch the super bowl... I really enjoyed my time in calgary, living with the coopers....they were just the best...they were my family in calgary. I loved eating supper with them...and sitting with a coffee prepared by debbie, watching ctv news and trying to get the trivia question right...man those coopers know how to live life. Oh and coop he was prob one of the best friends i could of lived with...what a guy, what good memories! I did not mind carpet cleaning either i had alot of fun! I had alot of highlights in calgary....most of them were when I met up with greg...we would go to Tims and get a coffee and talk about life and the lord...those are some of the best memories I have in life! And honestly I likely would not be where I am today with out greg.

In March life got even better...after attending encounter...where I think the Lord changed/grabbed a hold of my life riesser, gregory, ned and kardy...set out to portland oregon for a concert and a life changing experience...What an unbelieveable week!! taking two homeless guys out for supper...worshiping in revolstoke or golden or where ever it was....breakfast in portland. Too many memories to resite... it was living!

In April was another blast...street hockey in lethbridge..."mayor mcgrath...bps late at night...going across the street with coop..."ICE ICE ICE!!""...the pink laced bra...that weeekend was crazy!!"

May went to moose lake for work bee with coop...met up with Jer bacque...gt....

At some point I don't remember what month it was Simon golom came to cal...and I loved that couple days...went to dennys for hours... skipped work the next day and hung out with him again...just the cream of the crop...love that guy...can't wait for his wedding.

Went to stoon with ned and riess in june... took neds parents beauty car with the sun roof...cruized around with my head out the sun roof worshiping the lord in the moon light...unbelievable...danced in the park sat at that place on 8th for hours.. met up with friends at earls.... went out for breakfast with dan wiebe...visited j-osh at walmart and the davis bros met us there!

Moose lake 08 was one of the better weeks of my life... basically as soon as I got to camp levi and josiah tracked me down and we shaved mohawks in our heads...that kinda set the stage for an extreme week...God moved...and we all had an incredible time...met Tyler smit...that guy is the man!!! Moulon Rouge...

August long... riess and I dominated at the mound...august rush was NOT a strong team...but we made a lot of memories....and i meen alot of memories..that weekend was smoking...

Then I moved to stoon lived with Dan kenton and Jordan...loved living with those guys! They became much closer friends with me... sitting down for a meal with them was a joy...talking to them about my dreams and plans...laughing and enjoying life...it was great! Oh and by the way I drilled water wells when i was there...Other memories include going to tims with mase...playing tennis with the davis'...and fantastic meals at the davis'...and hanging with j-osh...but...the lights of eston called me

So i moved back to Eston with the lur of rec hockey...friends and poaring peoples coffee. The fact is it hasn't disappointed... i have enjoyed it alot...and I have made new friends...and continued old ones. highlights of the last couple months include playing floor hockey when quinton came down to visit...who knew playing with girls could be so fun...another highlight was the rambler game vs. the mallards and playing rec hockey! How could I not enjoy living in a place where I can go for coffee and meals with friends with such ease... Eston has been a great place to dream...heck we started a band. "The communal spoon" are planning on moving to vancouver and me and riesser are traveling for 5 months...

So as I go into the new year I leave the best year of my life...it was jam packed...and my life was changed by my lord Jesus christ...he continues to change me and move me. I look into the upcoming year and I see it will likely be even crazier then the last... I remember as I looked into 2008 I had no clue what to expect... I had nothing planned and very little idea of what would happen...This year I have lots of stuff planned am willing to pursue my dreams and am willing to run through my fear. As I go into 2009 I ask the Lord to hold on to me as I run...may I become closer to you and may I continue to ask my self. "why do you live...what makes you get up in the morning?"

I live because I love life... because christ has changed my life and because its worth it....here is to to loving life in 09.

where will my resting place be?

2008-11-27T14:44:00.000-08:00

I dream of a much better place...not because my present is soo bad...just because I am rarely that comfortable. I have my moments...and man oh man I love those moments. Persistently through this race of life...work, busyness, stress, being human wraps its grip around me like a web. This web does not suffocate me...i can breath while caught in its grasp but what I can't do is move, sure I can wiggle...but lets face it wiggling and being stuck in a web is not near satisfying enough...when you know what it feels like to run, jump or dance.

These dreams I have and create for myself motivate me every day. "Walk 09"..."Van friggen couver"... I love looking toward them. However when I wipe the ignorance from my eyes I see myself there in my dream still tired...dag I don't want to be tired... I just want to party with out ceasing... why can't I just jump and begin to fly?

My dreams have always been just that...me in that perfect peace...that perfect peace which i would find if I ever learned how to fly. Or that perfect peace I could find from a perfect evening among friends...sitting around at the cabin I dream about owning at the lake I dream about living at. If I were to look at one image which I think would explain what I am looking for it would be this unblemished whipped cream topped chocolate cake I looked at for hours on end today at work...just perfect!

This peace...this perfection will never be found....on this earth. Not as long as I have to work...and do things I don't want to do...I ask the lord..."where will my resting place be? where will I be able to rest my head" Those words flowed through mind constantly this morning... I saw a painting in d- dub and nigels house and i thought, huh i like that but i didn't really delve too deep into it...but today I could not get it out of my mind as I worked and was tired...physically and mentally with this race....where will my resting place be???

Then I was flooded with pictures of heaven...dreams of that moment when I finally get rest with the one who created me...with Jesus Christ who loves me so much...my vision tinged red...covered with blood! This is the first time I think in my life I understand why one would be so anxious to get there....I often would think to my self when someone would say how much they wanted to get to heaven..."shut up your here on earth ...hold your horses!" But right now I feel like I get it.

I am still here though...so how will I live my life? well i won't do what the world tells me to do...I am pretty sure if the world had to go through school...she would be still stuck in that dreaded difficult grade one! I will dream....I will run toward those dreams....and I will live like christ....

where will my resting place be? where will i be able to rest my head?

Peace
Frank

word

2008-10-28T22:54:00.001-07:00

Every day I wake up and the one constant is that I am going to speak to people...often to alot of people. Today when I was at work I was chit chatting with the girl I work with named L-dot...I would ask her about her last week and what was going on in her life...my interest mild although legitemate. As we would talk I begun to realized that everytime there was even a hint of depth or if i asked anything personal in the slightest she would just be as vauge as a two toned catapilar! So after a while I realized that she did not want to talk realy about anything of importance, so i just talked about the shallow crap like she wanted.

I began to think about how much of life I just have such limited banter. At work when I serve someone ussualy all I can think to comment on is the weather. That is ussually about all I can think to talk about. Also often I will try asking them about there job, how they enjoy it. On the rare occasion I will have some good conversations about life with the random people that come into "Harleys convienience and restaurant." Those are the conversations that make work worth it...they are very good. I will not say that the simple conversations about weather hold no purpose but i do question if they have alot of real importance or impact.

Honestly though in my day to day life I want to think about my words. I don't have any desire to have meaningless conversation. I do not want to talk for the sake of talking...or even be on the ears end of someone rambling for the sake of rambling. I want to talk less but with meaning. I want my words to be powerful, up lifting and honest. I want to build my friends up and I want to tell them I love them. This is the way I want to use words.

This is what I want to say right now... to my friends I love you! I am thankful for you...I love spending time with you....you are complete blessings and gifts in my life....to my brothers thanks for being incredible brothers...how much you guys love me and believe in me I am not deserving of...I love you two.... to my parents you two are golden eagles....your love is something I need so much...so much that i am certain i don't understand how much. To uncle stan you are in my prayers...and thoughts...

words....

hear our cryes

2008-10-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

We are in need ....My uncle Stan is wasting away from ALS...Greg's grandma is very sick and is expected to die soon.... Adam Tysdal's girl Karena has been sick for a long time and no doctor seems to be able to figure it out...

In our need there is not a whole lot we can control...take away our fear... comfort our hearts....be just....give us understanding.... Christ take control...be the centre of our lives...be the place we fix our eyes...Lord comfort....and hear our cryes.

it continues

2008-09-29T16:37:00.000-07:00

Here I go again on my own...it is the only path I have ever known...I like that song... I start singing it every time I get tired of running this race by myself...I sing it because it is basically my life story...I started singing it again today...as I am about to start a journey...a journey which begins and ends in fear...Its a journey where I am going to attack fear face to face....I am going to attempt to walk straight toward my dreams...right through the fear. What am I so scared of? I am scared I will fail...that I will fall on my face ...I am nervous that my dreams will be un-attainable...that everyone will laugh at me...no one will understand! I am scared that my world view will be shattered and I will end up resorting to mediocrity.

I fill push through this shit...excuse my language but that is exactly what it is...it is sad that people that love you don't even understand you...and want me to fit a mold...I will not fit a mold...I am going to attempt to live a "faith life" not just a "faith trip." I don't want to ever give up. So it all starts with my working at a cafe in eston...called "Harleys"...I have always wanted to run my own cafe...who knows if I will even like it...but i will try to find that out...the uncertainty of weather or not I will like it eats me up inside a bit but again I am going to attempt to walk toward that anxiety...when in eston I am going to try to get into art...i want to learn how to paint...I have all of these visuals in my head that i am going to attempt to get out!! I am going to play alot of rec hockey...and racket ball...and I am going to hang out with some friends that get me...and love me. Then in feb I am going to travel.

My purpose in traveling is to be changed as I ask God to provide for my every need...food shelter ...and for every person I meet be divine. This will be a trust and a faith trip...I want to find out with more depth what trust means! I am tired of the world telling me what to do... I will try hard to not listen to it... You can't tell me what I can't do...I will try to be me...I will try look to Jesus christ who is power,mercy and grace...every step of the way.... I attempt to trust God for everything...love, strength and joy and i will pursue my personal legend.

the journey starts and continues....

Save lives!!!

2008-09-20T14:52:00.000-07:00

Note: I am eating Kraft dinner right now made with whole wheat flour!? It is not near as good as the original. However with a tall glass of Chocolate milk...my life is good.

I have been working for 3 weeks now drilling wells... its definitely work. Meaning it is not a job i am meant to do for the rest of my life... There are still very refreshing moments...I get to meet many farmers...they are all quite unique people. I can't comment on anything other than my brief interactions with them but it is very interesting to observe and talk to them briefly... Most of the people we build wells for are families who are building new houses on new properties...for the most part the people are pumped by the whole process (no pun intended). They are excited about there new beginnings and by the process...well so they appear! I love being able to see Saskatchewan's people at the core.

More than anything though I have plenty of time to listen to the radio.... AM 650 talk radio is the station that the dial is on and the station which i have left it. The topic on AM 650 has mainly been about the upcoming Canadian election. I have to be honest the perspective I have from listening to the radio leaves me extremely frustrated. Our canadian election has been a complete joke...All the parties have been talking about is the environment and this "green shift." Even the conservative party has been stuck on only this topic, even though they know it is not the most important issue. What a travesty that an election can be so trend based. This time around the trend is to focus on the environment...in the past the trend has been "Gay marriage" and "the corruption in the liberal party." Here is my problem with this "crap" it leaves us the voter in the dark. This canadian election the different parties should actually be talking about the issues that are important to them and important to the Canadian people.

What is the conservatives plan in regards to "Abortion." There is no legisation in Canada on abortion...It is not illegal nor legal...it just happens. One of the most controversial, important issues we face on earth is being ignored? Human life is being ended, murdered! The Government of Canada has nothing to say about this? Figuring out legislation? Saving lives! stopping selfish murder!!!It is true that this issue is not black and white, but there are components of this issue which are...anyone who has done any research would see that a baby is very much human before its birth. Why is some desperate mother who kills her baby by sticking it in a micro wave considered a sick and twisted criminal? Sure she is just that... but so is the selfish teen who out of fear ends the life of her baby through abortion. It may not be as messy but it is still murder. It is true that is unclear how human a baby is prior to 10 weeks after conception. Prior to 10 weeks the organs are not entirely developed...nor is the human brain...With out writing an essay on this issue I yell at the top of my lungs that this needs to be a discussed issue...so we can save innocent lives...like it is in the states...

Another important issue is housing. Rent is too high and the cost of buying a house is becoming to expensive..Why are the parties not talking about this? They are in the United states...

Rather than attacking the issues we have a campaign led by a conservative party which is being dishonest to the country pretending to be a clean cut corrupt free liberal party. This is the way the conservatives plan to stay in power...and it will work. That does not change the fact that it is unethical to pretend to be someone you are not. What is happening is strong conservatives know that the "conservatives" are faking it...so do any educated voter....but they have seen Stephan Harper do an adequate job thus far while he has been in power with a minority government. Canada is willing to risk it with Harper rather than vote for Stephane dione and the liberals...because they are much worse and not close to ready to govern.

Why can't we have parties actually standing up for what they believe in...looking for change...not just power. I love Canada but our election is a joke. I am disgusted by the lack of leadership in our country's politicians.

this frank's rant

Over my head

2008-09-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

I had this thought the other day...and it blew my mind...i can't wrap my head around it...even before the fall of mankind...before when everything was good...before sin entered the world...adam was there and things were not perfect...actually he was not complete...that was until God gave him him eve...then he was complete. How though can things be empty at all before sin entered the world? how can it be anything but perfect? If things were not complete when adam just had God...how can we even come close to fulfillment not only in our reality today but ever? If God is going to bring us back to paradise? will that paradise be complete? I can't figure this one out...

NHL NOTE BOOK PART !!!

2008-08-30T15:14:00.000-07:00

Nashville-Its sad how the preds are such a poor organization. Poor as in they have no money and are in a market that could care less about hockey. David Poile is i am sure happy that he has a job as an NHL GM but I wonder if he ever thinks to himself...i wonder what it would be like to manage a team with owners who would let me put together a good team and not have to get rid of half my stars? With that said I like what Poile has done with the preds...they have alot of skill today and have gone through alot of skill...They have waved bye bye to Vokoun, Hartnell, upshall and timonen. If they had all four of them they would honestly be cup contenders. But No they are the Nashville Predators and thats all they will be until they re-locate...then maybe they will have a chance to be cup contenders.

New Jersey- The Devils really ticked me off last season. They got rid of key players heading into last season and looked way too thin to even have a chance to make the playoffs. Somehow though they did what they always did. they made the playoffs...finished 4th and proved me wrong. I don't care...I still say they are going to miss the playoffs despite brodeur being there...the up and coming teams will beat them out.

NY Islanders- There is not a whole lot to be said about the Islanders...They will be in the bottom three in the NHL and will hoping to pick up Hedman or Tavares at the draft in the summer 09. It will be a long crappy year in long island.

NY Rangers- The Rangers lost there most important cog last season in Jaromir Jagr. He was there bread and butter. With out him they are far from intimidating. Lets also not forget that they lost Sean Avery who has been an important key to the success of the Rangers in the last two playoffs. To replace these absences...the rangers picked up Naslund and Zherdev. Naslund is coming off two horrendous seasons with Vancouver and Zherdev is an enigma who has not yet decided weather or not he wants to play professional hockey or not. That being said I believe picking up Zherdev was a good move because his an incredible upside and potential. However those two are not a winning combination to replace avery and Jagr. The rangers still have a roster that should make the playoffs but getting past the first round may even be a challenge.

Ottawa- What team will show up in 09? The offensive juggernauts of two seasons ago or the head cases of last season. I don't care what you say a team falling a part like that is a joke. Was it lack of depth? Poor goaltending? or possibly poor leadership? I don't know the answer...but I do know this from watching there first round playoff series against the pens. Jason Spezza knew they were going to lose before the puck dropped and so did the entire team. He especially had no drive...he had thrown in the towel. When your most skilled player gives up, the player who is counted on to score doesn't push through... you are not going to win many games. They are heading down hill...but it is fixable...first spezza needs to be fixed.

Philly-There was quite the turn around in Philly last season...last place in the conference to losing in the east final... Things are looking bright in the city of brotherly love. What i think about when I consider what Philly did last season I think about the fact that they did what they did without Simon Gagner....i don't know i think thats kind of a big deal. The only thing I think one needs to consider is possibly finding a tender who can push Biron...i think he potentially could falter.If he does at all falter this season i could see them bringing in Emry in a couple years...Emery as a flyer! As a broadstreet bully...i think that could be entertaining. They have a chance to make it to the east final again...meeting up with the caps!

Phoenix-I kinda like the direction the Coyotes are heading in. I hope they have the patience to wait it out...They have a bright future if they understand that they are potentially prone to failure in the next couple years. They are the kind of team where i could see them competing hard all year but finishing 10th or even being close all year but having a rash of injuries push them out of contention at any point of the season. There time should come some in 2-3 years though.

Pittsburgh- Well this is what it will look like from now on and for the years to come. Sid, Malkin and Staal surrounded by mildly skilled, affordable forwards. What else can they do with all that money being tied up in there young guns? I guess the hope is that they can find the right combination and win a couple cups..looking at there pick ups this season I have a hard time thinking that Miroslav Satan and Ros..Fedotenko are those linemates that will compliment Crosby to a Stanley Cup...but how could have they done any better? Possibly the smartest move would be to move Staal from the third line where he is primarily used as a checker to the top line with Sid. This would give them stronger scoring lines and would be actually using Staals potential...honestly if the plan was to keep staal on the third line playing centre i would suggest that they move him and try to get a lot for him (preferably some scoring wingers) and just pick up a checking centre at a bargain. I for see a fall for the pens this year...I just don't believe in the pick ups they made... but a fall is them losing in the second round...

San Jose- Well the season of truth in San Jose has passed...I picked them to finally get over the hump and make it to the Cup final and win and they disappointed. They besides Calgary whom they beat in the first round were the worst team in the western side of the playoffs...Big Joe again was a playoff flop and getting that puck moving defenceman they desperately needed did not seem to make the difference(Brian Campbell is very over-rated). So in the off season they fired there head coach, and swopped a few d-men. Bringing in Boyle and Blake and disposing of Campbell, Carle and Rivet will un-undoubtedly make a difference but the question is how much? Blake and Boyle are two very experienced Stanley Cup champions who both know how to move the puck well and win. So i guess if a lack of a puck moving defenceman was truly the problem in the shark tank then I guess we should see a more competitive team come playoff time when it truly matters!?!? Again though that is if that is the only problem. I suggest the Big Joe is what is truly standing in the way for the Sharks...if he comes to play come playoff time and dominates...we may then for real have quite the cup contender.

St. Louis- Re-building club...still very much in the middle of the re-building process...Hope for there sake they draft Tavares in the summer of 09.

Tampa Bay- Are the Tampa Bay lightning of 2009 the Philadelphia Flyers of 2008? Or are they the Pittsburgh Penguins of 2006. Remember the team of 2006. The experts were predicting a playoff birth for the Penguins that season. Heck they had two saviors on one team and had what looked like a good supporting cast.. Lemieux, Crosby, Palfy,Recchi and leclair. Some even thought they could compete for the cup. What happened was Lemieux played like 5 games, palfy retired mid season...and leclair was sent down to the minors. I guess the truth is that the Tampa Bay lightning are either team but i think we can see the comparisons? What they are is a product of a rich ownership thinking they can throw there money around and that will bring them wins. It does not seem to work that way though. Teams that do this usually flop. I question weather or not bringing in Roberts and Recchi to play on the Checking lines was a wise move. They are taking positions from younger players who could get valuable experience. What they should have put there effort into was shoring up there defence and actually hiring the right coach. Melrose is not the correct choice for Tampa Bay. He has not coached in 15 years and will be very out of touch. Although I see some of the moves that Tampa bay made as good moves and i see alot of talent on there roster...I see a large mess and that is what we will see on the ice.

Toronto- They will probably miss both headman and Tavares...I imagine it is not too fun being a leaf fan these days nor will it likely be for the next 40 years when the stanley cup will be so far a memory that no one will be alive who saw it being won by the maple leafs in there life time.

Vancouver- Probably more than any other team the Canucks off season has been defined by the Mats Sundin sega. The canucks have had a successful off season if they pick up sundin...and will be a possible contender if they get Sundin. However it looks quite clear that likely won't happen. So this leaves Vancouver where they are today. New GM Mike Gillies has cleaned house getting rid of Naslund who might have been the worste player on the ice last season and replacing him with Pavol Demetra...as well as a number of younger potential offensive contributers in Bernier and Wellwood as well as openings for contributions from Raymond and pettinger. However its all potential. With out either signing Sundin or trading for at least two consistent offensive threats the Canucks could very easily be near the bottom of the league. The verdict is still out on the Canucks.

Washington- Probably the most exciting team around...The Caps could very much be one of the main threats in the east...with two strong scoring lines...and lead by the best goal scorer to play in the last decade, the future suddenly seems to be now. The checking lines are strong lines as well centered by Fedorov the third line are is not just a checking line but also secondary scoring line with 20 goal scorer Brooks Laich. The question marks are on a defence that is headlines by an explosive Mike green and the potential or Kyle Alzner. Will Washington's defense be strong enough to with hold strong assaults from the penguins and Flyers? That may be what stands between the caps and being the top team in the east...Will there defence be strong defensively? Which Jose Theodore will show up? It may not matter in the wide open east...with every team full of holes and question marks.

NHL NOTE BOOK Part !!

2008-08-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Thought I would break the Blog up a bit cause its quite lengthy...

Carolina- The Hurricanes again in 09 have a chance to make the playoffs. After two straight seasons of being on the outside looking in the Canes have the right pieces to make the jump back into the playoffs. Unfortunately though they had the same pieces basically the past two seasons which they missed. Although last year the Canes were excused for missing the playoffs because of there excessive rash of injuries. The very much solid top three lines are centred by Staal Brindamour and Cullen with skilled wingers such as eaves, williams and whitney. The question marks are what will define the season. Will Ruutu finally come even close to his potential as a star power forward? Will the rejuvenated Sergie Samsonov show up this season as a solid supporting threat? Lastly is Ward the Tender to lead the Hurricanes to the playoffs? I think they have enough to make the playoffs and possibly be a top 6 team in the conference.

Chicago- Things have definitely turned around in the windy city. After many seasons of just wind and a crappy hockey team, the city of Chicago is preparing for more than wind this fall...A hurricane has hit town with the emergence of Kane and Toews. For the foreseeable future the hawks management will have the challenge of surrounding these two youngsters with a winning surrounding cast. The roster for the up coming season is far from Concrete...the Hawks are presently over the cap with two high payed tenders as well as a high payed second line of Lang and Havlat.. What moves Chicago management makes in the coming months will determine how the young hawks do this season...but it looks good right now.

Colorado-As of right now it looks like Colorado will challenge Vancouver for last in the division. Losing a revitalized Jose Theodore and replacing him with the combination of Peter Budaj and Andrew Raycroft does not look promising. And neither does Colorado's obsession with trying to bring back there former glory. Resigning Adam Foote and waiting on Peter Forsberg is not an intelligent direction to head....Its unfortunate that JC (Jesus Christ) isn't coming back this season because the fact that JS (Joe sakic) is coming back for a 20th season can't even save them this season. (That was my attempt at a joke)

Columbus- The Jackets made alot of changes this summer...but were they positive? Not exactly. They replaced a player who has a whole lot of potential in Gilbert brule with a guy who will likely be drug tested soon and test positive for human growth hormones and also be arrested for beating his wife and walloping his dog with a baseball bat in Raffi Torres. As well as roundaboutly replacing Zherdev another player with upteen potential with a convicted gang banger and rapist in Kristien Huselius. Columbus likely will not be worse this season than they were last year...however the moves they made this summer will bite them hard in approximately 3 years when the jackets are still not making the playoffs...and when they realized Umbergers playoff brilliance still has not been tested. They look to me to be following a similar path that the thrashers have been walking...one of these seasons possibly they will make the playoffs...but it won't last long because of there poor management and lack of patience.

Dallas- I think the stars have turned the corner from being a strong defensive team with very little chance of having success in the playoffs to a team that has many of the right pieces to compete for western dominion this season and in the coming seasons. Morrow is a gritty leader who knows how to score when it counts. Ribeiro proved that his skill translates into playoff production and Turco as well has turned the corner on his playoff jinx. To top it all off the pick up of hated Sean Avery gives the stars another gritty clutch performer and a winger who plays well with stars. He will be a great compliment to Richards. I would not be surprised at all if Dallas wins the Pacific division and beats Detroit to come out of the West. Surprise Cup champ....possibly.

Detroit-What is there to say about Detroit? Well alot i guess. There are question marks like there is for every team. Although it does not seem to matter. This is by far the shrewdest management team in the league. They make the right decisions...decisions in which most franchises are not near intelligent enough to make. These decisions leave them at the top of the West every season...with players that most would believe are washed up (Chris Osgood). The players on the Red wings obviously deserve credit for winning the cup this last season...but possibly who deserves even more credit is Ken Holland...he built this team...each piece was put in place to fulfill his vision of what a winning team looks like. This was truly a team that won...not an individual. Holland deserves alot of credit...he is a brilliant manager. They will challenge in the west but will fall short...but it doesn't matter they will be back next season.

Edmonton- The oilers are back with authority. And they will definitely be exciting.. fast and tough... with skill and speed in Gagner, Cogliano and Hemsky....Big bodies who are tough in Cole, Penner and Moreau. There are questions marks though. Although Visnovsky and Souray will likely create a potent power play, the questions is what kind of effect will there defensive incapabilities have? I just see a lot of momentum changes due to boneheaded plays by souray this season. But hopefully his offensive potential will balance out his effortless defensive play...However the Oilers look real good and I think they should compete for the division with Minnesota...that is if they don't get ravaged by injuries like they usually do. A side note: the worst move the oilers made was a move they could not finalize that is bringing Georges Laraque back to the oil. I think he would have been a good piece for them to have.

Florida- The panthers come into the season missing there captain, who was there best player and leader. I think it is a pretty big hole...which they have not been able to fill. This leaves the panthers young and inexperienced up front. The panthers still have loads of potential...but it looks like they are even farther from a playoff birth this season than they were last season. The good news is if they are patient they should have a deadly lineup at some point...in the next 3 years...however thats what was said three years ago...so who knows if they will ever arrive.

LA- This is an exciting team...with an exciting future...If this was news to you just now when i wrote it...I hope you quit reading my thoughts right now because you are not a true hockey fan. Although they are exciting they don't really have a chance to compete this season...They are too young and too thin in goal. Next year though...i think they will be on there way.

Minnesota- This is a similar team to the team that won the division last season. The reason this is true is not because of who left and who came in for the wild this off season but because of who coaches this team... Jacques lemaire will make do with the talent he has this year and will score enough goals with this squad to headlock the other team to tap out often enough for the wild to squeeze out a top 6 position in the playoffs and a likely playoff loss in the first or second round. Pretty boring stuff. But thats what the wild are...boring and mildly successful, lacking the difference makers this season just like they did last season...to truly compete in the playoffs.

Montreal-The talk in the town is that Montreal will compete for the cup in there centennial year. Well i think that is questionable. la canadiens were definitely surprising last year. Many thought they would be one of the worst teams in the NHL last season. However they developed a lot quicker than anyone thought and catapulted themselves to the top of the east. So where does that leave them this season? I think it leaves them still in the playoff picture, but also in the position where they will disappoint there fans when they come back down to there potential this season. They are too soft and are overrated to be Cup contenders. If you look close at last season you will see a Montreal team that was just ahead of the pack in the east last season and a team that dominated one team all season. They won all 8 games against the Bruins. Had they won only half of those games... The canadiens would have barely made the playoffs..Now if you also considered who else they played the majority of there games against last season you will see the other reasons why they had success in the regular season. The played 8 games against the pathetic maple leafs and 8 games against the confused senators. Case closed.

Franks NHL Note book PART 1

2008-08-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

I just bought the NHL yearbook for the upcoming season. Its a great day every summer when I buy it. Once I open up those pages I become a hockey expert...I read the hockey news' predictions for the upcoming season and itch with disagreement...and my mind is stimulated with all the different factors that contribute to each of the 30 teams success or lack of success in the upcoming season. Unfortunately one thing may mess up my predictions. His name is Mats Sundin...he is a stumbling block that prevents me from making my picks...because until he decides what he will do with his playing future he holds up to 10 teams back from forming there final rosters and for many of those teams making there most important moves of the summer. So thanks Mats ya prick...because of you today I will just comment on each team...with my thoughts and comments on the upcoming season.

Anahiem-How will the ducks play in the sophomore season after the sophomore season (meaning two seasons after... they reached the holy grail(Won the Stanley Cup)??? My belief is they will be a middle of the pack team. Probably finish 5th-7th in the standings and depending on there opponent in the first round lose in either the first or the second round. Nonetheless lets face it they will be a strong team this season...They have a potent lineup through out..everyone knows there defense alone could bring them a playoff birth...However the question definitely is will there aging stars have the impact they once had? And are the players around them enough to make that question un-important? I think No they are not...that is why the Ducks are a playoff team but not a contender in 2009.

Atlanta- Lets make this short and sweet Atlanta will challenge for tavares and Hedman in 2009..but will likely miss both! This is by far one of the worst franchises in the NHL. Wadell has single handedly held this team back from any chance of success with moves like the one they made two seasons ago trading Coburn for Zhitnik. How does this man still have a job? Gone are the days of Savard, Kovolchuk and Hossa and gone is the best moment the franchise ever had...getting swept in the first round in 2007. Mine as well just change the team name to "Kovalchuk" cause he is alone out there. PS. Simon and Greg jump off this train while you still can...and pick up your self respect before you jump off.

Boston-It was quite the turn around in 08 for Boston. Making the playoffs and coming dang close to a successful upset of Montreal was very impressive and surprising... However despite the many more bright spots that are now seen in the Bruins lineup...a well coached...not nearly talented enough team is destined to miss the play offs this season...the future looks optimistic however in Boston...but heck Bean town doesn't exactly need another championship team...the city is too spoiled and won't likely be spoiled by the bruins anytime soon with a championship... I like that lucic though he is mean and fun to watch....canucks could use him.

Buffalo-This will be quick the Sabres are a very mediocre team. They are very thin through out the order. If Lindy Ruff will ever be fired this may be the season...although maybe Darcy Regier knows his team will likely suck this season...The only interesting part about this very boring team Thomas Vanek...Will he ever become a super star like he has the potential to become? I hope he does.

Calgary- Oh boy the many Flames fans probably won't like me after this but heck they have heard it from me before...And i have been right the entire time. Like I stated before last season...hiring Iron Mike as your coach was not an intelligent hire...he has not had success in over 13 years...he is not a strong motivator, nor is he a sound technical coach. Beyond that looking at the Flames roster you see an average club...even on paper. The top line is yes alright because of Iginla. However look at the the next two lines. Bourqe, lombardi, bertuzzi, moss, Conroy Glencross...I see a group that will be unable to give Calgary the secondary scoring they need. Now with the back end and between the pipes we see the underachieving group which the flames have had the past couple unsuccessful seasons. I believe this could be the year the flames fall out of the playoffs and possibly after this season...rebuilding will be the evident choice...well that is if they hadn't signed bone heads like Regher and Kipper to long term deals...the flames could not even beat the sharks in the spring!?

Walk...

2008-08-15T15:01:00.000-07:00

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shephard separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, " Come, you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothes me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?"

The King will reply," I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Then he will say to those on his left," Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me."

They also will answer, "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothers or sick or in prison, and did not help you?"

He will reply,"I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."

Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.

walk...

This is my reality

2008-07-29T14:25:00.001-07:00

Today was a good day...but it did not start out good at all...i was stressed to the nines.. The reason I was stressed is because I am going to be un-employed in a week...which left me agitated and very thoughtful about my future...

So as I sit stressed in the van on comes "open your eyes" by snow patrol...and i tell sheldon...oh boy this song always wrecks me...he asks me well do you want me to skip it? I says no I like it for some reason... so here are the lyrics you don't have to read them but i would advise that you do...

All this feels strange and untrue

And I won't waist a minute without you

My bones ache, my skin feels so cold

And I'm getting so tired and so old

The anger swells in my guts

And I won't feel these slices and cuts

I want so much to open your eyes

Cos I need you to look into mine

Tell me that you'll open your eyes

Get up, get out, get away from these liars

cos they don't get your soul or your fire

Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine

tell me that you'll open your eyes

All this feels strange and untrue

And I won't waste a minute without you

So as the song is playing I am singing along and realizing that this song explains how i feel alot of the time...it explains my longing...my longing for the past and my longing for a bright future...it is my longing for what it seems like i can not have. Again this song always completely breaks me! It hurts to feel what you can not have...

Anyway the song ends and work continues... as I am working I am talking to sheldon about my future and he tells me about some things he has always wanted to do and how he plans to do them. As I listen to him this voice which has been speaking to me for years...comes into my head and some how i listen to it... I respond to sheldon as though I am responding to the voice in my head, "why is it that I feel like I can't do the things i want to do? It just seems like I can't do what I desire!"

He replys" why not? you can do it!" I then realize i that I can...there is nothing stopping me...except my self...

So I am going to pursue my dreams in the now....I don't care if people think I am dumb...cause they will...I am not going to listen to the world anymore...how is it that this message that I could not do what I have always wanted to do got so deep with in me that I forgot my dreams? Or felt i could not pursue them?

This is my reality! I have my desires...passions...dreams...I need to live in my reality not in what the world tells me to do...I will push beyond the fear of failure and the supression and I will truly live...

read those lyrics again...open your eyes...walk toward your destiny...in that song the lord is asking, "Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and we will walk from this dark room for the last time...I don't want to live in the dark any more

Pursue your dreams live in your reality...

Intoxicating

2008-07-14T17:19:00.000-07:00

"the presence of God is intoxicating"

I have heard that before...its pretty true. I am beginning to see the lord in so many things...different things, it is really sweet! When I was returning home from moose lake i saw the most amazing rainbow i have ever seen in my entire life (acctually we saw two)...it was so dope...it was one of the most beautiful thing in nature. As we drove we saw the end of a rainbow shooting up toward the sky, but we could not see much of it..however we could see two shreds of rainbows...then as we drove closer within the nasty dark clouds emerged two rainbows one on top of each other spanning almost the entire sky...unbelievable. I think the lord made that happen for me coop and Lindsey...maybe I am on drugs i don't know.

Then the next day something possibly not near as ordained happened...I got the opportunity to work at a clients house who had a huge pool...and conveniently she left...so I am working away and my bud i was working with Jaydon says to me,"why don't you skinny dip in the pool?" I says thats a good idea...so i get into my birthday suit and dive in...that might have been the most liberating experience of my life...made my day...ha i thank the Lord for that!

On Saturday I went to jimmy...heck i don't even think jimmy is that great of a band...but i had a blast...the joy and passion in that place should have been bottled and sold for profit...cause someone would make billions on that stuff if it were sold...It was so wicked! In front of me I had sara and stace who were just into it...they were loving every minute of it... and they were free i could tell...then behind me sheldon was belting out every lyric...raising his hands in excited worship...then there was tc, cabes and charissa who were there for the high fives...honestly my heart went out to everyone in there...being there and experiencing that concert with such passionate people, and seeing most of the people free...even if it was just for those moments was complete worship for me...loved it...I have a picture in my mind of this blond girl about 15 feet behind me, i felt like i could see her hurt...as she looked and listened to jim i could tell she was hashing something out...and it was deep and real and she wanted an answer...i pray she finds it...

I find complexity and i find simplicity in these moments...both so real...beauty and freedom...i see the love of Jesus and it is so intoxicating!

overwhelmed

2008-07-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

I had probably the most amazing week of my life this last week...I am so thankful that i went to moose lake gospel camp...and that the lord was so dope there!!!! lives were changed! chains were broken that were holding incredible people down! and love was abundant!

I am overwhelmed when I think how the lord loves us so much and that he has created such incredible people and that I got to be with so many this week and be in there journey and impact them...I am pumped that the teens had such a crazy sweet impact on my life....The lord used the dudes in my cabin Ted, Sam, Michael, David and Adam to impact each other and myself and the camp...I would not have been the counselor i was with out these guys! they are such special people and the lord has created them so unique...then I think about others at the camp...i think of moulon rouge our group...we were a family! I remember sitting around in a circle telling each other how much we appreciated and loved one another...that was soo awsome...i remember playing the clue game and being Franks!! ha that was soo awesome...I have so many memories...but it was all capped off on saturday night when we worshiped late into the morning and I look around and I see everyone in the place dancing...totally and utterly free in christ...so powerful that days after it happened I sit here typing this and tears come to my eyes....thank you lord soo much for that...that moment was the most incredible moment of my life...seeing everyone free...so good!!!!

I can not wait till next year...and I look forward to seeing some of you through out the year...i am so blessed to have so many new friends and that i got to strengthen some ones i already had...now our calling is to trust...and to seek!!! Never let go...

A Beautiful surrender

2008-06-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

Oh boy... freedom does exist. It, in its essence can not totally be described in words. The path to it is overwhelming and momentous.

I can not help but think about how i got to where I am today. Just 4 months ago I did not have freedom...i was restricted, held by tight ropes holding not only my arms but also holding who I am in check....however in March I was changed...and I never want to go back...I went from being scared to dance, worried about what others thought of me. I cared about impressing girls. I wanted to impress people and I found it hard to be myself....however I feel I have found freedom.

I have realized that it does not matter what others think about me....I do not need to be cool...I don't need approval and I don't need to be self conscious. Why? Because he lives! Long live the king!! And he loves me! He has created me...that is enough... None the less in the past I have struggled to totally comprehend how the lord loves me...but I think I am starting to understand....The lord shows his love to me through Jesus Christ...Jesus came and turned water into wine...he fed the hungry...he healed the blind and lame and asked everyone to follow him. Jesus loved....his love did not die when he died on the cross...no his love lived through his death. He was saying I love you so much that i will lay down my life for your inequities.

These inequities though do not define us...but are what the lord frees us from. I can tell you that weakness can hurt... In life everyone can relate to being weak...feeling alone...feeling useless and sometimes talentless. However we need not try to strengthen our selves. We need not try to prove our selves. We need to only find our strength in Christ. We need to be acknowledged by the love of Christ, not by anything we can do. Or by anything we are, or anything we can't do...I actually feel like my imperfections is a part of Gods love for me. I am not sure if that makes sense to anyone other than me...but I think that If I was awful at everything and looked like one of the seven dwarves...in a way I think that could be a gift...and would be a way that the lord would show his love to me...why because I was created by the lord...he created each of us how he wanted us to be...he is creative and uniquely fond of each one of us...no matter what we do...no matter if we love him back.... Strength is found in our weaknesses...Lord I want to be nothing, I want to be a lowly and on my knees, because of being blessed, humble and basically pathetic...I want to be pathetic...because I want you to pick me up and say...

"you are so weak...so small...but thats why I love you...I did not make a mistake...Nathan I like listening to those jokes you make...your real funny. well your not that funny, ha but i like you. I have always loved you. You know that Nathan, even when you were doubting me, even when your heart was messed up...the reason is...I know you! I see you and I don't give up on you"

Jesus christ... you have stolen my life... I thankfully bend my knees and am overwhelmed in joy...I hold my hands to the sky overwhelmed by your love...a love that can not be put into words. The inside of me is bursting all the time...I can not contain what you are doing inside of me...it is bursting out of me...lord Jesus thank you for such a beautiful surrender...

Interest

2008-06-08T13:43:00.000-07:00

A thought just crossed my mind... we trust alot. We just give all our money to a bank and let them take care of it. We just trust them that they won't take any or lose it. Yeah maybe that thought is a dumb one but...i think its crazy that we trust complete strangers so much.

I am really excited about the upcoming roughriders season... I have no clue what to expect! Will crandel step up and do a fine job with his strong recievers and offence? Will the line be strong with out perry? And the linebackers solid without Reggie hunt? Will we have the same edge without Kent austin at the helm? lots of question marks...but no more than last year...so im thinking grey cup or bust...

Who will the canucks pick up this off season...I honestly am doing everything in my power to not get my hopes up...every year...every trade deadline i get my hopes up...and its always a mistake...so i am just going to expect the worst...but ill just pray we pick up Marian Hossa,...Mats Sundin and Jaromir Jagr.

The three goaltenders for the Canadian team in 2008 should be Marc Andre, Roberto and Marty...but i think Marty should not be named the starter... Fresh blood in the pipes i think is important in the olympics...per example. 2002 they started the tournament with trust vet Curtis Joseph because of his previous experience in the 96 world cup...but instead of Cujo being ferocious like a wild animal he played like a whimpering pup and was pulled midway through the first game...in then came the younger champ... Martin started game 2 played solid and brought canada the gold...Case in point i believe in 2010, 6 years after his last glory at the 2004 World cup I believe Marty's experience would be more helpful on the bench encouraging Roberto and I think Roberto younger and hungrier would be a more effective starter.

I have been reading this good book "The shack" it has been wicked...i would encourage everyone to read it....It is about this man's face to face interaction with God. It has helped me to look past my mis perseptions of God and more see him as a loving creator of all his children...its an amazing book. An eye opener.

Tragedy

2008-05-31T18:00:00.001-07:00

I felt Tragedy this week from an arms length...meaning it was close but was no one I knew personally. My heart was still empty at the news this week.

According to police Joshua Lall first brutaly blindsided 30 year old Amber Bowerman, a woman renting a basement suite in the families home in the NW Calgary home. After murdering Amber he attacked and killed his wife Alison Lall and two children Kristen Lall who was five and Rochelle lall who was three. Then Joshua took his own life...the only one spared was Joshua and Alison's one year old who was found in her crib unharmed. Joshua was said to be struggling with psychological issues.

On thursday Luc Bourdon of shippagan New brunswick and Vancouver canuck prospect died in a lethal motorcycle accident. Luc a new Biker and inexperienced is said to because of high winds tragically veered into an oncoming transport truck killing Luc instantly.

My heart is soft and my prayers are with the family and friends of Amber Bowerman, Alison Lall, Kristen Lall, Rochelle Lall, Luc Bourdon and...Joshua Lall.

I can not offer answers...I do not want to try...all i know is, it is fragile...if this fragile life is everything...then It is not worth it...there is more.

LIFE

What if

2008-05-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

This morning i was driving and I thought of a great idea for a tattoo...the image i would have on my right sleeve would represent every thing i believe in and need. I don't want to describe the tattoo...i only brought it up because the next thing I thought of was how much it would cost...then i thought of how it would look really nice...and how it would probably improve my image. Inside of me though I began to question the thought of spending soo much money on even the amazing tattoo stamped on my arm...what I was questioning was not the tattoo...i will probably get it someday....but i was questioning the desires of my heart.

What if??? what if I do not care about the cloths on my back or my next meal...even the birds in the sky don't go hungry! What if I could see the heart of someone rather than there image? What if I sell everything I have... cause I am asked to...just to follow him... what if I leave everyone I love and care about and go and feed those that are hungry...what if every good thing I did was never noticed, appreciated or valued? what if I could live life abundantly...What if the nations were fed...the corrupt repented and the selfish turned to selfless....What if a generation saw radical change as the only answer? taking care of each other before them selves as a calling and a gift.

When I look at the world we live in...when I live my day to day life if there was one negative word i could use it would be "discouraged." I get discouraged with my own life, that is the truth....many days I wish it were easier...i wish I was understood...appreciated sometimes...and I know i am not alone. I look at the world and I see corruption...it is so sad...a world that needs help...in the past and today, is and has been led by leaders that are beyond selfish...money and power have glaring stains in our history and in our present... curse money!!! curse selfish power!!! we do not need money we do not need power... I will follow what I need...

Hope...trust...love...grace....freedom...life

Jesus Christ
the way

Trust

2008-05-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

I just finished a reese butter cup blizzard. man those things are delicious. I find that if i take my time with the blizzard i enjoy the unique texture and the explosions of flavor so much more. Regardless of this finding however when i eat my blizzard I can not help but devour it at an incredible pace. I eat it very fast i just cannot help my self...

I think like my lack of self control when it comes to eating my blizzard is a lot like i live my life. well actually i don't know if thats true...but i was hoping that analogy could work...piss i am not sure it does. well this blog must go on...

The last number of weeks these have been the words that have continuously been in my mind..."Trust and obey...for theres no other way but to be happy in Jesus and to trust and obey."
This is because i have had to be repeatedly reminded during the last month to trust God. This of course is not a new revelation...but it is very obvious why i need to be reminded of this. One I yearn for more...i long for better. To be specific, I see a couple walk down the street and I have I question why not me? why can't I have a best friend like that. Or I often wish I had more friends...or wish i was friends with this person...Then God comes along and says,"Nathan I have blessed you." I then realize yeah your right God...you always are...but... "You want more...Nathan ok I understand but you are not trusting me...I have given you parents that love you..brothers that care about you...I have blessed you with a great family to live with...good friends... Now, trust me!"

When I do feel sorry for myself...when i feel like no one believes in me, and when I don't believe in myself, God reminds in a gentle voice...that I will more than be ok and that those that those that love me, do believe in me and care about me. I thank the Lord for reminding me and I thank you all who God has put in my life...with out you I would not be who I am...in everything I will

Trust and obey...

one day

2008-05-08T20:21:00.001-07:00

I am a bit hesitant to write this just cause its kinda humiliating to admit almost...but who cares. Its my blog ill write what i want to write. I just went to super store...and the truth is...it is a pretty super store. That place is so big that I would imagine that if I shopped...i could probably buy anything i need there...that was kinda a dumb sentence. Anyway so I walk into the super store with the thought of looking to buy my mom flowers for mothers day. I look at the flowers and I think to myself. These flowers are very pretty...man if i had a girl friend i would buy her flowers i think...probably all the time...well a lot.

So i keep on walking...walking quite aimlessly and all of a sudden my eyes get caught on something its a blond at 3 o clock. and i can not take my eyes off her...so i kinda play it cool although i can't really say that it mattered...i walk back hoping to actually see her face.. then i see the sun glasses rack which i am actually interested in. I look at a few pairs and realize i don't want to spend $20 on a pair from super store! even though the pair looked super...all the time while I am looking at these glasses i am trying to subtlety get a Dec look at this blond bomb shell...I consider going to talk to her but decide its not worth the trouble...and i give up...

As i head back through the pooring rain i walk up to my car and as I step into my car i notice this just beautiful girl pull up beside me in her suv. All I get again is a glimpse...but she was very nice...anyway as I sit in my car fiddling for my keys I can see out of the corner of my eyes that this babe is looking at me for what was a few seconds. So i look over and her head turns a bit more than 45 degrees. I caught her, yeah she was checking me out.

It would be great one day to actually meet that girl that is checking me out...maybe make a little small talk... a few jokes then ask her out. It would be nice if that could happen. Usually when i do get the guts to ask a girl out or be forward I seem to some how be foolishly out of line. Its like i am a fool liking a girl. well i don't buy that. It will awesome when a girl falls in love with me. I can see her eyes looking into mine. There will be one small tear of love in her eyes each time I give her flowers. When i talk she will listen and understand me. When i look at her I will simply laugh that I am with that girl...and that I can't explain what is about her. All I know is one day i will find love, one day it will actually work out.

sitting at the piano with my hands on the keys

2008-05-03T15:11:00.001-07:00

I just bought this new toothpaste...Crest with citrus scope. It tastes great and leaves my mouth so refreshing! For the first time in my life i wanted to eat my toothpaste...it tasted like orange pop mixed with ice cream...

I have begun to notice again that i am alone....a lot. I am not too bad at being alone, most likely because i am quite used to it. Many periods of time in my life I have spent large portions of time just by myself. During my school years from grade 7 on i did not really have any friends really....hence i was alone. I would go home everyday, play some sega, watch some oprah. During the summer of 2006 i worked in a pulp mill. That was probably the period of time where i probably felt the most alone i might have ever felt. I worked basically by myself for 12 hours a day...then when i didn't work i would be alone in Fort st. John...i would go for walks just to keep myself sane and so i could at least see people even though i would not find much opportunity to interact with them. It drove me a bit nuts that summer. So now I find myself again alone a lot of the time and I can't say it is horrible. But it still leads me to question...

A few weeks back I was laying in bed before I was about to go to sleep and thoughts were rushing my head. I was wondering how I am still alive? How have my thoughts not entirely burnt me out...to think I have had billions of thoughts and emotions going running around for 21 years...and some how I am still functioning. This quite possibly might have been a very weird thought...i am not sure. However I was stumped at how the mental does not kill. How the thousands of times I have questioned or beat up myself, how i recover. Or the moments where I have felt like I am entirely alone, and questioned if I would ever have anyone how i found hope? Even when my life has gone great, how has the fast pace not just konked me out? How have the irrational thoughts not buried me?

The fact is however they haven't. I am alive. The lack of communications with others i am sure has had some sort of impact on my socialness...nonetheless it has not hurt me too much...I think that being alone has caused me to care about people more...as well as unfortunately make me hesitant to an extent. I often do not tell people how i care about them, or how much i appreciate them...cause often the feelings may not be mutual...it is something i have worked on...and still need to work on.

I guess the answer is that we are not alone...even when we are all by our selves. When I am alone, I am alone with my hope, I am alone with my dreams, with my love, my passions, and I am alone with my God. My God who has some how given me confidence, who has it all under control and loves me...more than i can even close to understand or comprehend.

we are not alone...

xchange

2008-05-03T15:09:00.000-07:00

I have been a bit of a funk the last bit...now it has not been depression or anything...but i don't know basically i just feel like i am starting to get tuckered out. so i will write not only when i am inspired but also when i am not kicking totally.

So today i for example i felt like i was running on auto-pilot...just not feeling to positive or careing much at all really. so anyway i went to this nice rich ladys house in the morning...I had a few good chats with her...the kinda chats that on a regular day would kinda get me a little excited to live. she was a real nice lady...but today for what ever reason it did not seem to lift my spirits...which is wierd cause that is basicaly what i love most about serving people...is hearing about there lives...so very carelessly i headed to the next place. I get to the farm and i am greeted by 3 yappy, little real stupid dogs. most dogs like that don't deserve to live...they are just ugly things...anyway so i knock on the door and i am greeted by a chain smoking lady who did not even have the decency to get dressed..it was 1 in the afternoon..she sounded like she was dieing. and the sad thing is she was in her 30s or 40s. If i sound like a dick..well i know i am...

So i ask myself...why am i having such a hard time with this lady? she is nice...just cause she and her house smell like smoke does not mean i am better than her. I then realized that i am the complete opposite of christ...christ chilled with the lowly...the troubled...he healed the def, he touched a lepard who was the most rejected of anyone... he washed a prostitutes feet...and there i was cringing at serving this lady cause she was sick and was addicted to cigarettes. what a prick i am...i was telling a friend of mine on the phone the other day how i feel called to serve others as a career...well the fact is i can't do that until learn to serve not only the rich but also the poor...trust me its easy to enter a beautiful house with granite countertops and expensive hard wood flooring it is not near as easy to go into a dump crack house...i need help...lord help me

Vision

2008-04-25T12:53:00.000-07:00

My dream is to see true life lived...I see cities...and towns overtaken by love. I see groups of people banding together with similar visions. Lost, and confused going through a tunnel, emerging through the other side and seeing clearer than they have ever seen...They smile a smile that is felt through out there entire body..it is caused by an effort to comprehend how they have gotten where they are. Totally changed.

Fear and confusion does not have to last...rather clarity and hope engulf. A desire to serve brings fulfillment. A calling to impact and change fills up ones thoughts. Excitement over this life we live...an almost giddyness over seeing friends...and over simple things like getting a coffee double cream single sugar!

I never knew life could be so vulnerable and so gratifying. I never knew i could dream. I want to watch and impact the process that others go through. I can not wait to see change in lives... I see emergence.

Its our responsibility to do everything we can to emerge...and once we emerge to revive our suroundings...together. It has to be together

Get out!

2008-04-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

I realized this weekend that i need to start expressing my thoughts...a couple things you will notice are that i like writing dot dot dot rather than periods and that i will be completely honest and most likely random.

Shout out to Ned... i hope you read this!

So i went back to eston this weekend...i had a great time! I laughed alot! some memories that come to mind are mad gab (a certain hayley should play that game on television thats how hilarious she is at playing that game),family feud (kelsey quist is a freak at that game, she should as well be on display so everyone can see her talents), as well as slumber numbers.I made people laugh too...almost cryed a few times as well...

At first i found it tough being there! I did not fit and it hurt a bit...i found it hard to deal with...i also knew i had no future there which kinda made me sad because i have so much fun there... during the weekend between all the wild times...i wondered to myself how real those moments of joy were with people. I realized i see basically everyone there once every couple months and that there is not a lot of depth to it...we have a good time and then we go our separate ways...i questioned weather or not it is worth it. I have decided it is! I had fun...the insecurities can just stay right there. I need to realize that i can not be best friends with everyone...and that i can not be the most popular guy in the world...even though ha that is what i desire.

As i went to eston for grad i realized that most people are going to come back to eston in the fall. So thats cool i guess... i understand why they want to go back...they just had the time of there life at eston...and they want some more of it...others are scared and are not ready to go back into the real world...and others want to stay with there new best friends. So there intentions are understandable but i don't feel right about people going back to eston for years after years with very little purpose of why they go. One goes there for there fix...and to find there sanctuary...to find community.Again i understand, but i don't think it is the answer to come back year after year. I think the students a called to find community and build community else where,...to band together to impact the world...I think it is an incredible decision to go to eston for one year...and even two...but unless you are called to be there for 4 years. Possibly for important leadership positions etc. I think you should be equiped to change the world after 2 years. we are called to change the nations...and we can not do that if we all only find our comfort in eston. band together!!!! examine your hearts!!! enjoy every moment while you are there but get out!!! if anyone acctualy ever reads this understand i am not judging you i am just questioning... but if i do offend you well maybe that is a good thing. the world is not that scary you can survive! acctualy you can thrive! you can thrive if we acctually do what we are called to do out here and that is build real community! We need to dream and go for it...we need to see the little things as amazing things of beauty! We need to desire the big things as well...when i hear about what sean douglas and his crew does in the summer i love it! its what we need to do...but also when i work for cliff mutch as a carpet cleaner i see something amazing as well...its real! and i want us to live it! hopefuly im understood here.

On another topic...man that caps game was incredible....that team almost makes me reevaluate life...ha they are that electric...i felt like i was flying through the air like super man for 60 mins...unbelievable.

franks thoughts are done

new year more of the unexpected

2008-01-02T23:31:00.000-08:00

Well as some know...2007 ended maybe in the strangest way possible for me...i wouldn't have written that kind of ending....i could not have been that creative...my car had an electrical fire and now is totaly ruined. No more nice looking mustang. 2008 i begin the year like every other year of my life with out a vehicle... So as 2008 has begun I can look back at the year that was 365 days....what happened?

I finished my biblical certificate at eston in april... i painted almost my entire body green in March...i turned 20... I cut trees this summer...made a little money...bought my first car a mustang...i had three different jobs discluding helping my dad with harvest...It looks like i will start 2008 framing houses...left the country twice...crossed the border to seatle in may and went to san diego and mexico in september. I watched the riders win the grey cup which was really cool...I did not find love this year...saw lots of cute girls...liked some girls dot dot blah blau blau. ha ha fact is nope didn't find "love" was not even close. I made lots of mistakes this year...did a lot of good things this year...made some selflless decisions that i am proud of. learned alot of stuff.

I like myself more now than i have at any point in my life...i think possiblly because God has taught me that his blood is stronger than my sin...he has also helped me see the Good in me and the good things that i do....I also have learned that if you ask God to promise you something he will deliver...at least that is what i have found in my life. I have learned how important family is and I continue to appreciate friends.

So 2008 God only knows i guess,...it is possible that it could end with me still thinking i wish i had more! But i hope i continue to battle with being thankful with what i do have...it only hurts me to think about what i don't have and it is unconstructive to put any thought into the negative. So i begin the year trying to look at my life positively... and pushing the negatives out of my head...

because i know one thing 2008 should be a crazy memory...and will be a good one!
peace frankster